THIS JUST IN: CROMWELL MORE DEAD THAN EVER

January 30, 1661

London

We’re not harboring a grudge; we just want to be really sure he’s dead.

After all, he caused a lot of trouble (killing a crowned king and all that).

So, we took appropriate, reasonable measures:

hanging, decapitating, and desecrating the body in an extraordinarily humiliating way.

Okay, maybe we do have a bit of a grudge.

But seriously…

June 6^th, 2024

The supporters of the English crown really hated Oliver Cromwell.

And with good reason: he had led the effort to kill King Charles. But more than that, he had tried to do away with the entire system of kings in England.

So after the royal dynasty was restored, they decided to make an example of Cromwell.

Actually, they made an example of his body.

In 1660 Cromwell’s corpse was dug up and dragged to Tyburn (the traditional place of hangings).

Then it was hanged (yes, the dead body was hanged), and decapitated.

But they weren’t finished. They kept his head on a spike atop Westminster Hall for the next two decades.

Don’t mess with the king!