EDGAR ALLAN POE DIES OF RABIES OR BRAIN TUMOR, OR IS STILL ALIVE

RUMORS PERSIST October 7, 1849 Baltimore, MD Edgar Allan Poe, eccentric writer and maker of enemies, may have died last night. His many enemies are waiting to celebrate until they…

GENERAL SICKLES VISITS HIS LEG

SHOWS OFF FORMER FIBULA July 4, 1866 Washington, D.C. Brigadier General Daniel Sickles wowed visitors to the Army Medical Museum today by visiting his lower right leg, which is on…

STALIN ROLLS OUT PR CAMPAIGN: NOT A STEP BACKWARD!

July 28, 1942 Moscow Comrade Stalin, always looking to liven up the war effort, Issued a new order today, one with a catchy name: “Not a Step Backward!” Millions of…

THIS JUST IN: CROMWELL MORE DEAD THAN EVER

January 30, 1661 London We’re not harboring a grudge; we just want to be really sure he’s dead. After all, he caused a lot of trouble (killing a crowned king…

CAN’T STOP THAT GUY

August, 1189 Acre, Israel Guy de Lusignan, the biggest playboy in the Holy Land, is playing soldier again. A lover, not a fighter, Guy is known around here as arm…

JEAN JACQUES ROUSSEAU MARRIES THERЀSE LEVASSEUR, NOW THAT CHILDREN ARE ALL GONE

August 29, 1768 Bourgoin, France Jean-Jacques Rousseau married his long-time sweetheart, Thérèse Levasseur, this morning, after giving away all five of their children. The couple were thrilled to begin their…

GENERAL HANCOCK DRESSED FOR SUCCESS

May 3, 1863 Chancellorsville, Virginia Union General Winfield Scott Hancock was spotted early this morning, donning his trademark clean, starched white shirt. Everyone who saw him agreed, this was a…

DE GAULLE YAWNS THROUGH ANOTHER ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT

NO BIG DEAL August 22, 1962 Paris, France Getting shot at is getting to be boring for President Charles De Gaulle. Today was the third time extremists have attempted to…

WARRIOR-MONK MINAMOTO NO YORIMASA ARTISTICALLY DISEMBOWLES SELF

June 20, 1180 Byodo-in Temple, Japan Warrior, monk, poet, and now trend-setter, Minamoto no Yorimasa ended his life with honor, glory, and a lot of flair. After losing the battle…

MAXENTIUS HIDES IMPERIAL SCEPTERS

WILL RETRIEVE THEM AFTER HE WINS BATTLE October 27, 312 A.D. Rome Emperor Maxentius, preparing to meet Constantine in battle tomorrow, has hidden the royal scepters somewhere in Rome. He…