forgotten
- No Respect! , Royals
- May 24, 1437
- 22 views
HENRY VI CELEBRATES 100TH YEAR OF WAR
STILL GOING STRONG May 24, 1437 London King Henry VI, all smiles, presided over the festivities today, marking the one hundredth anniversary of the beginning of the war against France.…
- Last Woman Standing! , Royals
- June 12, 1251
- 195 views
SORKHOKHTANI BEKI WINS REVENGE/TORTURE CONTEST
MOTHER/SON TEAM VICTORIOUS 1251 Karakorum, Mongolia Sorkhokhtani Beki, daughter-in-law of Genghis Khan, has shown herself to be the champion of revenge and torture, beating out her rival, Toregene. Interested onlookers…
- Don't Embarrass Us! , Latest News
- July 6, 1959
- 497 views
OAFISH MAYOR DALEY HOSTS QUEEN OF ENGLAND
MANY FAUX PAS EXPECTED July 6, 1959 Chicago Whose bright idea was this? Queen Elizabeth is visiting Chicago, and our mayor- Mr. Fumbles and Mumbles- is going to be her…
- Added insult to injury! , Entertainment
- January 27, 1302
- 719 views
DANTE OUT FOR REST OF SEASON IN LOSS TO BLACK GUELPHS
MVP SEASON ENDED January 27, 1302 Florence, Italy Dante Alighieri, star of the Florence White Guelphs and league MVP last year, is out for the season after sustaining an injury…
- A good whipping! , Royals
- June 30, 1879
- 940 views
ROYAL NAVY ABOLISHES FLOGGINGS
WISTFUL DUKE OF CAMBRIDGE SAYS ENGLAND GETTING SOFT June 30, 1879 London The Duke of Cambridge, England’s top general, can’t believe the news: the Royal Navy has decided to stop…
- Celebrities , Crackpot!
- June 22, 1633
- 960 views
GALILEO APOLOGIZES FOR SILLY THEORY
EARTH-AND-SUN THING A MISUNDERSTANDING June 22, 1633 Rome Scientific instrument salesman and part-time professor Galileo Galilei has a hard time keeping his opinions to himself. We can’t quite blame him.…
- Creep! , Latest News
- February 2, 1118
- 759 views
PREDATOR TEACHER ABELARD CASTRATED BY SCHOOLGIRL’S UNCLE
DAUGHTERS SAFE NOW 1118 A.D. Paris, France Let this be a lesson to fathers all over Paris. Don’t allow your daughters to be tutored by philosophers. The well-respected canon, Fulbert,…
- Royals , She loves badboys!
- February 20, 0449
- 793 views
PRINCESS HONORIA IN LOVE WITH ATTILA THE HUN; PLANS TO ELOPE
A MOTHER’S WORST NIGHTMARE 449 A.D. Ravenna, Italy Attila, the fearsome leader of the dreaded Huns, isn’t content with land and tribute. He wants the princess for his bride. And…
- Royals , Trustfund brat!
- January 1, 0560
- 753 views
SPOILED CROESUS SELLS DADDY’S COIN COLLECTION
HOCKS EVERYTHING TO PAY FOR PARTYING 560 B.C. Sardis, Lydia Kids these days. You just can’t give them anything nice. King Alyattes, when he wasn’t running the country, worked his…
- Celebrities , Women, stay in the kitchen!
- February 18, 0106
- 938 views
BAN ZHAO SETS BACK WOMENS RIGHTS WITH NEW BOOK
OUTDATED CONFUCIAN IDEAS 106 A.D. Luoyang, China Ban Zhao, the feminist hero who once championed the teaching of girls, has set back women’s rights a thousand years. Worse, she has…